A recent poll shows 62% of Americans say they don’t want to vote for Palin, but kinda have to just to see what would happen.
Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation’s Idiots
If you know an idiot, please make sure they’re safe and not standing naked in a snow embankment on a dare. Onion News Network is coming to IFC on January 21 at 10pm.
Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead
A new scam preys on the elderly by informing them they have died and instructing them to reroute their social security checks to the „Department of the Dead.“
Truck Accident That Killed Rafters in Canyon Sparks Truck-Canyon-Rafter Reform Debate
In The Know panelists discuss yesterday’s truck accident, and why nothing was done to prevent the vehicle from accidentally spiraling out of control and killing rafters in canyon below.
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft
World Of World Of Warcraft’s amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
Children Exposed To Porn May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable
Panelists discuss how pornography warps children’s minds, leading them to believe sex is actually fun rather than shameful and embarrassing.